There’s a story making it’s rounds on Facebook that really spoke to me (and a lot of others).
Here’s the gist:
In a counselling session a patient is relaying to their counsellor that they’re struggling. And the counsellor asks, “What are you struggling with?”
Through some questioning and dialogue the counsellor invites the patient to be really specific….and it comes down to this:
“Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
(this is followed by an internal diatribe about how “first world” it is to complain about the dishwasher and how “silly” it is that something so simple seems so impossible).
The counsellor nods, then offers this, “RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”
To which, of course the patient says, “but…. (insert list of reasons why they really shouldn’t run the dishwasher twice).”
To which the counsellor says, “Why aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?!”
He goes on to offer this game changing lesson:
“Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
This was transformational for the patient and it might just be for you too.
Note: this story has no credit and it’s been shared on multiple pages, but if you know where to offer credit, please let me know.
Break the rules, find freedom.
Think about it. We live in a society that is grounded in rules. And some of them are pretty important (laws, for example, those we should keep). Perhaps too some of the social constructs around how to treat each other with kindness and respect, I definitely think we should keep those.
But a lot of the “rules” that govern our lives, are completely arbitrary.
They’re informed by old ideas, stories and beliefs that possibly served us in the past, but likely have no grounding in what serves us, now. Or worse, they’re “generational” rules that we inherited from our families, and those really might not serve us, we just blindly accepted them!
- What rules do you abide by, that don’t serve you?
- What rules inform the way you live, work and play?
- What rules do you have around your health – physical, mental, spiritual?
- What rules govern your work life, family life, social life?
- Are these rules serving you? Do they support your happiness, fulfillment, or the greater good?
- If not, do you need to keep them?
What rules can you start breaking so you can start living? Here’s a hint….if you catch yourself saying “I can’t” there’s a strong chance there’s a rule there. “I shouldn’t” is another indicator.
Get curious. And ask yourself, is this rule helping or hindering my overall well-being? What would life be like without this rule?
Now more than ever life is kind of…overwhelming. We’re all having to pivot, pivot, and pivot again as we adjust to our Pandemic Life. And it’s kind of exhausting. So many people I speak with are overwhelmed and exhausted.
Let’s not complicate our lives, let’s simplify. Break the rules, find freedom.
In the work I do as a Body Positive Coach and Intuitive Eating Counselor I consistently challenge my clients to acknowledge, question and break rules. If you’re curious to look at how you can break the rules you have around food, fitness and your body and find increased joy and happiness in the skin you’re in, connect with me about one-to-one coaching or join us in StudioCrew, this community is all about breaking rules and finding freedom!